I just had another MRI this week and I had some interesting things happen in the tube this time. Several times I got small electric shocks through my hands and at points it felt like my face was pulling to one side. I could only imagine what that looked like. I probably would have laughed at myself.
Don't worry I checked into it and sometimes these responses happen and not super critical.
Before I went in for this MRI, I was feeling discouraged. I was having new symptoms and having tough weeks with migraines that wouldn't relent. I honestly was running dry on my hope that anything would be positive about this test result.
When I got the call and they told me the tumor had shrank and I had to ask them to tell me again. It's as if I was so caught up in the nothing is gonna change that I couldn't hear the good news. The one thing I am learning about this battle is hope can't come from myself. I can't muster it but I can cultivate it.
I can meditate on the goodness of God and the promises He gives to His children and it restores my hope. NO matter what trys to steal my joy and hope if I rest in His confidence that He will see me through no matter what the earthly circumstance looks like, I will be renewed in the waiting.
I feel like this entire circumstance has been one long waiting room that sometimes meets with trials that I don't want to fight. The Bible is clear our fight is not against flesh and blood and I can't fight out of my own strength. The minute I do I start to feel drained and hopeless. I was reading a blog of a young mother who was diagnosed with an aggressive form of Cancer and how she choose joy over sorrow. I am telling you something changes in the atmosphere when I take away the doubt and choose joy and contend for hope that brings perseverance. I really never understood that as real as I am understanding it now.
God is faithful to bring me to deeper relationship when I hand over all my fears and walk with no sight ahead:)
I appreciate all the prayers and support!
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